Friday 8 December 2017

Living With A Husband Hard Of Hearing

By Henry Hughes


As many baby-boomer wives know, marriages face new challenges as couples age. These hurdles are not necessarily more difficult, but they are different. One common problem is coping with a husband hard of hearing. Since hearing loss happens to most people after the age of 75, this changes life for more than half the senior population.

He comes home from a hard day and there's his wife, with dinner almost ready and a pleasant smile. He settles in for his favorite program, cranks up the volume a little (the set is getting old and the sound is not as clear as it once was), and relaxes. Suddenly there is his wife, looking cross and shouting - shouting - that dinner is ready. He doesn't realize that this is the third time she's said this and that she's shouting to be heard over the blaring TV.

One problem that doesn't have such an easy solution is that men, as they begin to lose their hearing, have trouble with high-pitched sounds. This, of course, includes their wife's voice. A woman who's used to pleasant conversation in the car or to communicating with her spouse in another room now finds herself often ignored. This may irritate her, which may bewilder her husband.

Husbands also may react badly to being shouted at, which a lot of wives find themselves doing. It's hard to sound dulcet and winsome at the top of your voice, and shouting also may cause a more severe expression than you intend. Counselors familiar with this conflict suggest looking directly at your man and speaking slowly and clearly rather than at very loud volume. This, unfortunately, requires more effort, and many women, experiencing the fatigue that often accompanies the 'golden years', may resent this.

Looked at casually, this seems a minor problem, but actually it's a major one. Losing the ability for easy intercourse lowers the quality of life for all. Solutions like battery-powered aids are worth investigating before they are absolutely required. There are many different kinds and even the most perfect ones will need careful fitting and adjusting to work well.

There is also surgery, which once used to be performed mostly on children with a lifetime of impairment before them but is now not unusual among seniors. It's really worth investigating what can be done to help your spouse hear things like the grandchildren, general conversations when the family gets together, voices on the phone, and sermons in church.

If you don't face this problem yet, it's still a good idea to get informed. All sorts of illnesses (heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, and other circulatory problems) and medications can cause men to lose their hearing. Deafness, they say, is more isolating than blindness, so it's worth protecting your ears early in life and finding solutions to help people hear later.

A wife who notices that her spouse may be losing this important ability can do a lot to educate both herself and her husband. Since many professions come with loud, continuous noise - farming, carpentry, the military, factory work, mining - men are prone to this disorder. Begin now to preserve all-important communication with your life partner.




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